I made a conscious decision to avoid April Fools pranks in the office this year. They take a lot of effort and by now everyone knows it’s me. That was until I came back to my desk and found Terry’s first blow.

“This is war.” he said.

This is the beginning.

Terry and I were returning to work from lunch when we saw a group of people filming. I tried to get out of sight of the camera not because of a fear of being photographed but an aversion to being shot in the background of douchey documentaries, bad student films and reality shows. I was told I can be seen standing in the background of three episodes of the Real World: Brooklyn, always eating a sandwich too big for my mouth. 

Terry suggested we run up behind the people being filmed as if it were a live news cast, and jump around. It was no surprise to me that Terry is That Guy. As we got closer I noticed the guy they were filming had wires dangling from the back of his neck. When we reached the front doors of our building it hit me. “That’s the asshole who put a camera in his head.”

Last year, artist and NYU professor Wafaa Bilal buzzed the blogger scene when he announced he was getting a camera surgically implanted in the back of his head. On the project’s official site www.3rdi.me you can read long winded explanations about this experiment being a statement about surveillance and the times we live in etc etc. Upon closer inspection he only drilled a hook for the camera to hang off into his head, basically making him a living tri-pod. Not exactly a cyborg.

Anyway, that’s Terry, his image captured by Mad Professor Camera-Head.

In our office we celebrate all the month’s birthdays at once. Terry’s birthday was in January and he missed out on cupcakes because he forgot when it was. Yesterday (as noted in this post) Terry locked himself in his house and couldn’t come to work. While he was home we celebrated March’s birthdays and lumped in February and January. Once again Terry was cheated.

Today Terry took all the leftover cupcakes from the refrigerator proclaiming to anyone who would listen “It’s my birthday. These are my cupcakes.” He ate four of them in one go.

Footnote: This was after he ate a 4 lb salad and 3 slices of pizza (not his pizza).

Gia is this blog’s most devoted contributor. This chat doesn’t even make sense. Terry is on the left, Gia is on the right.

I think I like the Please Help Terry twitter feed more than this blog. Terry sees me update it and starts moaning. Every time. Every time.

FOLLOW TERRY SO WE CAN ALL HELP HIM

I don’t have to explain this. It is Monday.